1. "I'm Not A Surgeon, I'm A Plumber With A Scalpel." – Miranda Bailey

Here are the top 99 funny quotes from Grey’s Anatomy:

2. “I have five rules. Memorize them. Rule number one, don’t bother sucking up. I already hate you, that’s not gonna change.” – Cristina Yang

3. “If there’s no food, I’m going home.” – Miranda Bailey

4. “I’m a surgeon, I always know what I’m doing.” – Derek Shepherd

5. “I’m a superhero, I’m not afraid of anything.” – Alex Karev

6. “I can’t date her. She’s a virgin, and she’s going to want me to be all respectful.” – Mark Sloan

7. “I don’t need friends, I need partners.” – Derek Shepherd

8. “I’m not a hot mess, I’m a spicy disaster.” – Meredith Grey

9. “I’m a surgeon, I’m not a babysitter.” – Miranda Bailey

10. “I’m not a half-assed anything. Whatever I do, I do it all the way.” – Cristina Yang

11. “I’m a grown-up, I pay taxes.” – Arizona Robbins

12. “I’m a doctor, not a miracle worker.” – Miranda Bailey

13. “I’m not a cat, I don’t have nine lives.” – Derek Shepherd

14. “I’m not a pessimist, I’m a realist.” – Cristina Yang

15. “I’m not bossy, I’m the boss.” – Miranda Bailey

16. “I’m a surgeon, I’m used to pressure.” – Derek Shepherd

17. “I’m not a hugger, I’m a doctor.” – Cristina Yang

18. “I’m not a therapist, I’m a surgeon. A damn good one.” – Derek Shepherd

19. “I’m not a nerd, I’m just really smart.” – Maggie Pierce

20. “I’m a surgeon, I don’t do feelings.” – Cristina Yang

21. “I’m not a quitter, I’m a fighter.” – Meredith Grey

22. “I’m not a robot, I’m a person.” – Amelia Shepherd

23. “I’m not a saint, I’m a surgeon.” – Miranda Bailey

24. “I’m not a psychic, I just have a really good gut.” – Meredith Grey

25. “I’m a surgeon, not a politician.” – Owen Hunt

26. “I’m not a scientist, I’m a doctor.” – Derek Shepherd

27. “I’m not a wimp, I’m a survivor.” – April Kepner

28. “I’m not a mind reader, I’m a surgeon.” – Miranda Bailey

29. “I’m not a pushover, I just know how to pick my battles.” – Meredith Grey

30. “I’m not a coward, I’m just cautious.” – Nathan Riggs

31. “I’m not a liar, I’m a surgeon.” – Cristina Yang

32. “I’m not a superhero, I’m just really good at my job.” – Meredith Grey

33. “I’m not a flirt, I’m just friendly.” – Alex Karev

34. “I’m not a psychic, I’m a doctor. But I still think you’re pregnant.” – Miranda Bailey

35. “I’m not a cheater, I’m a surgeon.” – Derek Shepherd

36. “I’m not a crybaby, I’m just emotional.” – April Kepner

37. “I’m not a drama queen, I just have a lot of feelings.” – Meredith Grey

38. “I’m not a control freak, I’m a surgeon.” – Miranda Bailey

39. “I’m not a coward, I’m just not stupid.” – Cristina Yang

40. “I’m not a saint, I’m just not a jerk.” – Alex Karev

41. “I’m not a perfectionist, I just have high standards.” – Derek Shepherd

42. “I’m not a gossip, I’m a doctor.” – Miranda Bailey

43. “I’m not a diva, I’m just confident.” – Addison Montgomery

44. “I’m not a doormat, I just know how to compromise.” – Meredith Grey

45. “I’m not a martyr, I’m just doing my job.” – Miranda Bailey

46. “I’m not a snob, I’m just selective.” – Cristina Yang

47. “I’m not a procrastinator, I just work better under pressure.” – Meredith Grey

48. “I’m not a people-pleaser, I just know how to be polite.” – Alex Karev

49. “I’m not a control freak, I’m a surgeon. There’s a difference.” – Cristina Yang

50. “I’m not a quitter, I’m just taking a break.” – Maggie Pierce

51. “I’m not a pushover, I’m just empathetic.” – Meredith Grey

52. “I’m not a dictator, I’m a leader.” – Miranda Bailey

53. “I’m not a lightweight, I just don’t drink like a fish.” – April Kepner

54. “I’m not a hypochondriac, I just have a lot of medical knowledge.” – Maggie Pierce

55. “I’m not a loner, I just value my alone time.” – Cristina Yang

56. “I’m not a pessimist, I’m a realist with a negative attitude.” – Miranda Bailey

57. “I’m not a martyr, I’m just really good at my job.” – Meredith Grey

58. “I’m not a thief, I’m just really good at borrowing things.” – Alex Karev

59. “I’m not a control freak, I just know what’s best.” – Cristina Yang

60. “I’m not a baby, I’m just sensitive.” – April Kepner

61. “I’m not a robot, I’m just really good at my job.” – Miranda Bailey

62. “I’m not a nag, I’m just trying to help.” – Meredith Grey

63. “I’m not a wimp, I just know my limits.” – Alex Karev

64. “I’m not a drama queen, I’m just passionate.” – Cristina Yang

65. “I’m not a pushover, I’m just kind.” – Maggie Pierce

66. “I’m not a saint, I’m just not an asshole.” – Derek Shepherd

67. “I’m not a quitter, I’m just realistic.” – Owen Hunt

68. “I’m not a control freak, I’m a perfectionist.” – Miranda Bailey

69. “I’m not a baby, I just need to be held sometimes.” – April Kepner

70. “I’m not a dictator, I’m just assertive.” – Cristina Yang

71. “I’m not a robot, I’m just good at hiding my emotions.” – Owen Hunt

72. “I’m not a coward, I just know when to step back.” – Maggie Pierce

73. “I’m not a mind reader, I just pay attention.” – Meredith Grey

74. “I’m not a doormat, I just know how to compromise.” – Alex Karev

75. “I’m not a martyr, I’m just dedicated.” – Miranda Bailey

76. “I’m not a lightweight, I just don’t like to drink.” – Jackson Avery

77.