Top 99 Funny Quotes From Dumb And Dumber
Get ready to laugh out loud with these hilarious quotes from the classic comedy “Dumb and Dumber”. Here are the top 99 funny quotes from the movie:
- “So you’re telling me there’s a chance?”
- “We got no food, we got no jobs… our pets’ heads are falling off!”
- “I desperately want to make love to a schoolboy.”
- “You sold my dead bird to a blind kid?”
- “Hey, I guess they’re right. Senior citizens, although slow and dangerous behind the wheel, can still serve a purpose.”
- “You know, Lloyd, just when I think you couldn’t possibly be any dumber, you go and do something like this… and totally redeem yourself!”
- “I’m gonna hang by the bar. Put out the vibe.”
- “I expected the Rocky Mountains to be a little rockier than this.”
- “That’s a lovely accent you have. New Jersey?”
- “I got robbed by a sweet old lady on a motorized cart. I didn’t even see it coming.”
- “Excuse me, Flo? When do you think you’ll have those… 2 extra picks for us?”
- “Why don’t you go back to your home on Whore Island?”
- “Just when I thought you couldn’t get any dumber, you go and do something like this… and totally redeem yourself!”
- “Wanna hear the most annoying sound in the world?”
- “We landed on the moon!”
- “You’re it! You’re it! You’re it! Cody, tag me! Tag me! You’re it!”
- “I’ll bet you twenty bucks I can get you gambling before the end of the day!”
- “I’m talking about a little place called Aspen.”
- “What do you think the chances are of a guy like you and a girl like me… ending up together?”
- “We got no food, no jobs, our pets’ heads are falling off!”
- “That John Denver’s full of shit, man.”
- “Harry, I took care of it.”
- “I am one pathetic loser.”
- “Austria! Well then… g’day mate! Let’s put another shrimp on the barbie!”
- “I could’ve stayed at the party. I could’ve schmoozed, made contacts, but no, I had to go and follow my moral compass.”
- “I’m sick and tired of having to eke my way through life. I’m not a communist. I’m a passionate capitalist.”
- “Kick his ass, Sea Bass!”
- “I got worms.”
- “You’re driving a car with no wheels.”
- “That’s a lovely accent you have. New England?”
- “What’s the soup du jour?”
- “I thought the Rocky Mountains would be a little rockier than this.”
- “I’m Lloyd Christmas, and this is my associate, Harry Dunne.”
- “I can’t believe we drove around all day, and there’s not a single job in this town. There is nothing, nada, zip!”
- “If I know Mary as well as I think I do, she’ll invite us right in for tea and strumpets.”
- “I’m wearing a Hawaiian shirt and khakis, and I’m carrying a briefcase, so I must be a businessman.”
- “We got no food, we got no jobs… our pets’ HEADS ARE FALLING OFF!”
- “You know, Lloyd, just when I think you couldn’t possibly be any dumber, you go and do something like this… and totally redeem yourself!”
- “Harry, I’m gonna let you in on a little secret. Every day, for the past ten years, I’ve woken up and I’ve told myself: ‘I’m gonna go out there and I’m gonna make something of myself!’ But nothing ever happens. You know why? Because you’re a loser, Harry.”
- “Let’s put another shrimp on the barbie!”
- “You sold my dead bird to a blind kid?”
- “We got no food, no jobs… our PETS’ HEADS ARE FALLING OFF!”
- “You go that way, I’ll go home.”
- “We got no food, no jobs… OUR PETS’ HEADS ARE FALLING OFF!”
- “That’s a lovely accent you have. New Jersey?”
- “I’m talking about a little place called Aspen.”
- “I’m going to get you, Lloyd. It’s only a matter of time.”
- “I’m sorry, I can’t hear you. I have a banana in my ear.”
- “You’re it! You’re it! You’re it! Cody, tag me! Tag me! You’re it!”
- “I’m driving a van down by the river.”
- “I’m sorry, I don’t have a pencil.”
- “I’m in the middle of a conversation, and I just got a call.”
- “Samsonite! I was way off!”
- “This is my associate, The Colonel.”
- “I don’t know, Lloyd. The French are assholes.”
- “We got no food, no jobs, our pets’ heads are falling off!”
- “I want to ask you a question, straight out, flat out, and I want you to give me the honest answer. What do you think the chances are of a guy like you and a girl like me… ending up together?”
- “I’m talking about a little place called Aspen.”
- “I’m talking about a place where the beer flows like wine, where beautiful women instinctively flock like the salmon of Capistrano. I’m talking about a little place called Aspen.”
- “I’m gonna get you, Lloyd. It’s only a matter of time.”
- “I expected the Rocky Mountains to be a little rockier than this.”
- “You sold my dead bird to a blind kid?”
- “We got no food, no jobs, our pets’ heads are falling off!”
- “Hey, I guess they’re right. Senior citizens, although slow and dangerous behind the wheel, can still serve a purpose.”
- “You know, Lloyd, just when I think you couldn’t possibly be any dumber, you go and do something like this… and totally redeem yourself!”
- “I’m gonna hang by the bar. Put out the vibe.”
- “I expected the Rocky Mountains to be a little rockier than this.”
- “That’s a lovely accent you have. New Jersey?”
- “I got robbed by a sweet old lady on a motorized cart. I didn’t even see it coming.”
- “Excuse me, Flo? When do you think you’ll have those… 2 extra picks for us?”
- “Why don’t you go back to your home on Whore Island?”
- “Just when I thought you couldn’t get any dumber, you go and do something like this… and totally redeem yourself!”
- “Wanna hear the most annoying sound in the world?”
- “We landed on the moon!”
- “You’re it! You’re it! You’re it! Cody, tag me! Tag me! You’re it!”
- “I’ll bet you twenty bucks I can get you gambling before the end of the day!”
- “I’m talking about a little place called Aspen.”
- “What do you think the chances are of a guy like you and a girl like me… ending up together?”
- “We got no food, no jobs, our pets’ heads are falling off!”
- “That John Denver’s full of shit, man.”
- “Harry, I took care of it.”
- “I am one pathetic loser.”
- “Austria! Well then… g’day mate! Let’s put another shrimp on the barbie!”
- “I could’ve stayed at the party. I could’ve schmoozed, made contacts, but no, I had to go and follow my moral compass.”